Amid the conflict over Brexit, perhaps the best contribution a Buddhist can make is not about the substance, but about how we conduct the debate itself
Talk on BBC Wales, Weekend Word, 14.12.2018
Whatever you think about Brexit, most people would agree that we’re in a jam.
Everywhere you look, there are disagreements. Divisions at Westminster may make the headlines, but behind the political dramas are disagreements between leavers and remainers in the country as a whole. Brexit-burnout may be spreading, but many of us still feel passionately one way or the other.
Disagreements are part of life and the point of democracy is to offer a way to manage them. But the danger is that differences escalate into enduring conflicts that cause lasting damage to the trust and mutual respect that society requires. In that sense, the conflicts around Brexit are a symptom of something wider. As someone once asked the Buddha, “Why is it that when people wish to live in peace, they are everywhere embroiled in conflict?”
Even the Buddha had no simple way to answer that question, but we can see the principle that’s involved in the small conflicts of our daily lives. I’m tidy, my wife’s messy. She’s a sassy woman from the Rhondda, I communicate like a typical Englishman. Usually it’s vive la difference, but sometimes we both find ourselves thinking, ‘I love you, but I’m not putting up with that.’ I’ve learned to recognise the germ of my own intolerance that grows into a row.
As a Buddhist, I try to remember that when I’m involved in a dispute I need to do more than just try to win it. Harmony is important too, and there’s an art to bringing people together. That means being scrupulous in our speech, not bending the facts to fit our arguments, and resisting the slide into a tribal sense of ‘us’ versus ‘them’. It’s okay not to always have an answer, to admit when we get something wrong, and to ask if there might be another way to get what we want.
That’s all well and good, you may be saying. Very bland and Buddhist-y. But the country’s in peril, and something needs to be done! My point is that times like this are precisely when we need to step back, take a deep breath and make sure that we’re guided by our true ethical values.
People like to say, ‘Don’t just sit there, do something!’ Sometimes it’s important to turn that round. ‘Don’t just do something. For a moment, just sit there.’
